Dearest L,
I’ve decided to grow up and become a work-a-holic. Whatever it takes, I’ll work till my death.
Yours Truly.
At that point.
17. June 2013
I’m getting a little impatient but I’m still patient enough to see how it plays out. Either I have change or everyone else haven’t?? I feel like our friendships are being taken for granted and I don’t know how to confront it. I have the irritated and angry one, then there’s the careless, free, spontaneous one; then there’s me…stuck in the middle trying to balance the others out. I find myself trying to please others and winding up feeling angry at myself. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m the one feeling helpless.
Often times the past is brought up, but the thing is the PAST is the PAST, why can’t you let it go? I don’t get it? Do I have what it takes to be a friend, your friend? I feel like I’m competing with you to be your friend when I don’t even know what I’m even competing for in the relationship. But then you guys still keep me around. I’m so confused. I feel so pressured to be this friend when I feel like everything I suggest is ignored, yet when you want something, I’M THERE! NO HESITATION! so isn’t there suppose to be the same effect both ways?
merp, i just want to be alone and curl up into a ball.
